Happy Columbus Day?!

Happy Columbus Day?! Happy Columbus Day?! I don’t know about you, but I don’t see anybody named Columbus starring in any movies this Christmas. I don’t see any Columbus who personally keeps a blog for his adoring public. I don’t see any Columbus with the greatest eyebrow in history. I can think of someone who deserves their own holiday, and it’s not some dead explorer. Can you guess who? No, you idiot! ME! COUNT OLAF! It should be COUNT OLAF Day! I SHOULD BE A HOLIDAY!…Whatever. Go away. You disgust me.