Olaf’s New Year’s Resolutions!
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Out with the orphans, in with the new! Even Counts have new year’s resolutions. Here are mine: I will not get caught. I will not be upstaged. I will not be investigated by the Securities and Exchange Commission. I will not be thwarted by children or monkeys. I will not accept defeat. I will not put the toilet seat down. I will not eat Italian food. I will not praise others. I will not trip when going to accept my Academy Award. I will not accept any “literary” roles in “period pieces”, despite my classic good looks. And I will NOT REST UNTIL THE BAUDELAIRE FORTUNE IS MINE ONCE AND FOR ALL. I know I’m rich. But Count Olaf is a man of principle!
