Roll Out the Black Carpet!

Last night, I, the greatest actor of our times, including daylight savings time, attended the world gala Hollywood premiere of my major motion picture. I WAS SPECTACULAR! The paparazzi nearly fell over themselves trying to take pictures of me, particularly when Meryl Streep was standing in front of me. And the audience was rapt whenever I appeared on the screen, like when I glared around and commandingly shushed Walter Parkes, the film’s alleged producer. Ultimately, the applause was DEAFENING as I was escorted from the theater by a rather gruff security guard. Hollywood loves Count Olaf, and in a matter of days the entire world will, too!